Following from my previous observations regarding espresso at Pret-A-Manger outlets in London I’ve noticed a quirk. A quirk which gives me the basis to conspire. Delicious conspiring.

Regardless of the provenance of your humble prat, be it a well-healed sloany pony or an eastern european student, they all call out, upon hearing my order of a double espresso; ‘SdrawngEzbraaayssoah’ which sounds almost like ‘Strong Espresso’ but not.

Have they been told to address things like this? To converse with fellow staff members in some kind of PratSpeak? Are these people masons? It really sounds like the blast furnace of european dialect has deposited its slag ready formed into a training manual for these poor team members.

Incidentally, and what I think strengthens my cause, is that if you spot the floor manager type person they say ’sdrawngezbraaaysoah’ absolutely pitch perfect… faultless… like it took practise. Like Victoria Beckham’s pout.